It's no secret that I am a fan of Cadbury Mini Eggs. And I'd be lying if I said this was the first Cadbury purchase I've made this year. Or even the fourth. But that's not the news. First, a back story.
I live maybe a half mile away from a Walmart. I grocery shop there. So sue me, hippies. Actually, don't sue me; at least not until I've had time to brush up on Legally Blonde. Anyhow, so long as I've shopped at this Walmart (years) they have NEVER, I repeat, never carried the Cadbury Mini eggs. And just to be sure no one's pulling a fast one on me, I scour the store each visit during Cadbury season. All of this is strange because in the Cadbury '09 season, I spotted the candies at the Clinton Walmart. And in the Cadbury '11 season, I found the candies at the Layton Walmart. [Minds are no doubt blown at this point.]
So today, as I was perusing through the seasonal candy aisle at my local Walmart, a familiar purple bag with yellow lettering caught my eye. And then it was made very clear to me, as a beam of light shone down from the heavens onto . . . a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs. In my Walmart? Could it be? Yes. It was true. I picked the bag up, and to my delight, it was no ordinary bag of candies. It was a ONE POUND+ BAG. If I'm not mistaking, I heard angels singing. Naturally I scooped it up and carefully placed it in my cart. And then I looked back to the shelf where I'd found the bag . . . and here's the funny thing, the space that had originally held Cadbury candies was now mysteriously filled with candies of the Reeses variety. Strange, I thought. But not unheard of. So, on I went with my grocery shopping . . . all the while grinning because of my discovery.
But here's the thing. Once I got the bag home, I noticed something. Has that rabbit always been on the packaging? And is it a little eery-looking to anyone else? Does it seem like maybe that rabbit had one too many Cadburys before that photo was taken. I swear that rabbit is NOT on the other bags, but I honestly can't remember what the smaller bag looks like now. I have pound-bad blindness. I see the whole world in pound bags now. But what's even stranger is that I swear the rabbit's eyes follow me when I walk around the room. It's as if he's saying, "I, and I alone, know how many calories of chocolate you have consumed today. You answer to me now." And then I just feel sad. Chocolatey over-dosed sad. I can't help but wonder if the FDA or some other government organization mandated that creepy rabbits be placed on all pound bags of Easter candy to help subconsciously regulate the caloric and sugar intake of people who purchase the candy. I mean, this is the only logical explanation.
And so now that I have this knowledge, I need to act. I know now what I need to do. I need to drive a few extra miles to Smith's to buy the smaller bags of candies sans the creepy rabbit and enjoy my Eater candy. Because, hey, Easter only comes around once a year.
[That awkward moment when you realize that you just wrote an entire blog post about candy. I need a puppy.]
