Rabbit Eyes are Watching You

Have you seen this?! Have you SEEN this?!

It's no secret that I am a fan of Cadbury Mini Eggs. And I'd be lying if I said this was the first Cadbury purchase I've made this year. Or even the fourth. But that's not the news. First, a back story.

I live maybe a half mile away from a Walmart. I grocery shop there. So sue me, hippies. Actually, don't sue me; at least not until I've had time to brush up on Legally Blonde. Anyhow, so long as I've shopped at this Walmart (years) they have NEVER, I repeat, never carried the Cadbury Mini eggs. And just to be sure no one's pulling a fast one on me, I scour the store each visit during Cadbury season. All of this is strange because in the Cadbury '09 season, I spotted the candies at the Clinton Walmart. And in the Cadbury '11 season, I found the candies at the Layton Walmart. [Minds are no doubt blown at this point.] 

So today, as I was perusing through the seasonal candy aisle at my local Walmart, a familiar purple bag with yellow lettering caught my eye. And then it was made very clear to me, as a beam of light shone down from the heavens onto . . . a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs. In my Walmart? Could it be? Yes. It was true. I picked the bag up, and to my delight, it was no ordinary bag of candies. It was a ONE POUND+ BAG. If I'm not mistaking, I heard angels singing. Naturally I scooped it up and carefully placed it in my cart. And then I looked back to the shelf where I'd found the bag . . . and here's the funny thing, the space that had originally held Cadbury candies was now mysteriously filled with candies of the Reeses variety. Strange, I thought. But not unheard of. So, on I went with my grocery shopping . . . all the while grinning because of my discovery.

But here's the thing. Once I got the bag home, I noticed something. Has that rabbit always been on the packaging? And is it a little eery-looking to anyone else? Does it seem like maybe that rabbit had one too many Cadburys before that photo was taken. I swear that rabbit is NOT on the other bags, but I honestly can't remember what the smaller bag looks like now. I have pound-bad blindness. I see the whole world in pound bags now. But what's even stranger is that I swear the rabbit's eyes follow me when I walk around the room. It's as if he's saying, "I, and I alone, know how many calories of chocolate you have consumed today. You answer to me now." And then I just feel sad. Chocolatey over-dosed sad. I can't help but wonder if the FDA or some other government organization mandated that creepy rabbits be placed on all pound bags of Easter candy to help subconsciously regulate the caloric and sugar intake of people who purchase the candy. I mean, this is the only logical explanation.

And so now that I have this knowledge, I need to act. I know now what I need to do. I need to drive a few extra miles to Smith's to buy the smaller bags of candies sans the creepy rabbit and enjoy my Eater candy. Because, hey, Easter only comes around once a year.

[That awkward moment when you realize that you just wrote an entire blog post about candy. I need a puppy.]

Wanted: Chocolate

Attention concerned citizens:

Rumors are circulating that there are now Cadbury hard-shell mini Valentine's candies being sold, as of January 2011. The location of these candies is not known. Many nearby retailers have been questioned, to no avail. If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of these candies, please contact your local Cadbury consumer authorities, aka me. Your assistance in this matter is greatly appreciated. Once the candies have been apprehended, we will all feel a little bit safer in our homes.

Confucius says . . .

If a grey hair is plucked from your head and no one was around to see it, did it ever really exist?

Good-Bye, Old Friends

Today I say good-bye to a few friends that have meant a lot to me over the years. I have been very close to them and during almost all moments of my life have been inseparable.

Good-bye to the blue with yellow and pink stars, hot pink, days of the week-style, "Laughing Out Loud," boy-fit style, and my personal favorite, wide red and white stripes. You know who you are and what you've meant to me over the years.

If you are confused by this post, that's probably for the best. It's meant to be cryptic. If you understand this post, you, too, have made the change. I couldn't be more excited.

Terms of Use Agreement

I have often thought that I should give a terms of use agreement to boys that I date before things get very serious. This way they know all about my crazy female characteristics of which I can do nothing about. They will know what they are getting themselves into. Then, if at any point in the relationship I frustrate, confuse, annoy, or hurt them, I will just wave the terms of use agreement in their face... as a subtle reminder of the fact that they knew what they were getting themselves into before the show began. It would probably go something like this:

I, the undersigned, do hereby agree to relinquish any and all decision-making capabilities to Megan, the girl I choose to date. By doing so, I understand that Megan will be making any crucial decisions, as determined to be crucial by her, throughout the course of our courtship. I recognize that dating a girl who is moderately attractive, smart, and funny is a rare find. I will make every effort possible to assure her that I am giving this relationship my very best efforts. Anything short of my best efforts will result in in termination of said relationship. I do understand that Megan, though typically super awesome and delightful to date, will sometimes have a momentary lapse of rational thought— she is, after all, female. I will not judge, think less of Megan for, or complain of any of the following actions:

Sitting with her arms tightly folded at the movie theater after I comment on the attractiveness of the lead actress
Not returning my phone calls or other attempts at communication for nearly a week to prove a point
Listening to what I'm saying and then later pretending not to remember what I said because I didn't say what she wanted to hear
Getting her feelings hurt and waiting months to tell me after a completely unrelated event or discussion
Saying that she doesn't expect me to plan anything for her birthday and then being sad and disappointed when I don't
Being mad when I don't pick up on all the hints she has given
Faking sick so she doesn't have to hang out with my family, again

I understand that the above list is not conclusive and may be added to at anytime according to the desire of the author. I also understand that I am one lucky sucker.


Signed, ____________________________

Disappointed Single Gal Seeks Non-Commital Coldplay Partner

Terribly good looking, moderately poor, single young lady seeks single, terribly handsome, financially stable young man to take her to the Coldplay concert this coming November. Tickets are being sold at an alarmingly high price. (No, really... have you seen the ticket prices? Yikes.)  No long term commitment is necessary. In fact, not having communication before or after the concert, with the exception of one phone call under 5 minutes in length to arrange the plans for the eve of the concert, is requested. Any interested young men should send an email with the location of the concert seats along with a picture of the tickets for proof of purchase purposes.

Vote For Me!

All of this media attention that politics is getting lately keeps our nation's issues in the fore-front of my mind; especially with all of the presidential election coverage.  I've felt reminiscent of my old college politics days and whatnot.... It's got me thinking of the future.  If any woman is going to break through the glass ceiling of politics to become our nation's first female president, it's going to me ME!  And here are just a few of the qualifications that I feel make me a solid candidate for the future presidency:

I beat the entire game of Guitar Hero on medium level 6 days after I purchased it.

I can stand on my head for minutes at a time.

I know all of the members' of 'N sync's first names, last names, and birthdays (it says it on the boxes of their action figures).

I can count to 100 by prime numbers at an incredibly fast rate.

I know where Waldo is. Every book. Every page.

I have never read any of the "Twilight" books. And I never will.

I own a Lagoon season pass.

I have reached a Brain Age of 32 on my Nintendo DS.

I have talked my way out of THREE speeding tickets by either crying or playing dumb.

I once ate an entire QUAD-stacker from Burger King... and I lived to tell about it!

I can whip together a batch of Muddy Buddies in under 10 minutes.

I own over 30 hoodies.

I once attended the wrong college course for an entire semester before realizing my mistake, and still managed to get credit for the class.

After reviewing my list of qualifications, I'm sure you agree that I would make a fine candidate.  So keep me in mind.... it won't be long before you're seeing this face in the oval office!

After....

Now I know what you're all thinking.... this picture sure resembles that Lindsay Lojan character.  I know, I know... but it's me.  I turned 25 and transformed into this super young-looking, super hot gal.  It's amazing what time can do....  Now to look at some of my interests and favorites from before to see how they've changed.  You may be surprised by some of the results:

Some of My Favorite Things at Age 25:

Sleeping in... but not too late

Rainstorms

Peanut M&M's in small doses (I was showered with M&M's on my birthday)

Playing the Piano (when it's in tune)

Easy or Medium crossword puzzles

Swimming (just about anywhere besides Lagoon -A-Beach)

Bike rides when I don't crash

Kids

Classic rock and roll

Being right

Finding a 20 dollar bill in your pocket unexpectedly

Having the cute boy actually call when he says he will

Green clothing

Thought provoking books and movies

Quoting my favorite TV show in a moment of comedic timing and having someone get it!

Some of My Least Favorite Things at Age 25:

Dating (all parts of it)

Being wrong (which I've only experienced once)

Eating too many peanut M&M's

Sleeping in when you shouldn't have

Unnecessarily annoying people at Lagoon

Commercials on the radio

Missing my flights

Being told what to do by younger people

Smelly people

Germs

Mean and boring people

Current mood: anxious

Current thoughts: " I sure am sleepy! I hope not to hear from certain boys tomorrow!"

It's amazing to see how much more specific my interests have become in just a matter of days.  Age will do that to you, I guess.  It must be true what they say,  some things just get better with age.  And I'm living proof!! :)

Before....

It seems like every birthday that you have, someone inevitably asks you the question, "So do you feel older?" Or, "Do you feel different?" Well it just so happens that tomorrow is my 25th birthday. In an effort to answer these age old questions truthfully, I am going to conduct an experiment. I will collect data to see if I do feel older OR different after my birthday. Above you see a picture of me that I took in some of the last moments of my 24th year (not necessarily one of my finer moments). That is what I looked like BEFORE the big turn of events. Below I am going to list some things about myself at age 24. In the next post I will have a newer, more exciting, updated picture of me at age 25 along with an updated list of interests and what not. The results should be very telling in this experiment. Let's begin!

Some of My Favorite Things at Age 24:

Sleeping in

Rainstorms

Peanut M & M's

Playing the piano

Crossword puzzles

Swimming

Bike rides

Nieces and nephews

Classic rock and roll

Being right

Finding a 5 dollar bill in your pocket unexpectedly

Getting a surprise phone call from a cute boy

Green

Thought provoking books and movies

Quoting my favorite TV show in a moment of comedic timing and having someone get it!

Some of My Least Favorite Things at Age 24:

Dating

Persistent goobers who keep calling and don't take hints

Being wrong

Running out of Peanut M & M's

Getting up super early

Unnecessarily loud people

Catching only the end of my favorite song on the radio

Sleeping in airports

Being told what to do

Having conversations before 9 a.m.

Smelly people... at any age...

Germs

Mean people

Current mood: content

Current thoughts: "I sure am sleepy. Hope to hear from cute boy ____ tomorrow."