Lest you think that I am still eating bon bons and crying like a school girl, I figured I'd better post an update . . . just in case you enjoy reading boring things.
The morning following the MRI, my doctor called me at 8am. The MRI showed just what we had expected. I have two bulging discs at C5/6 and C6/7. At least I think, for all I know, I could be making up letters and numbers. Let's just say, two discs in my general neck region. Truth be told, I was pretty upset. Even though I knew there was something going on, the doctor's official stamp on things bummed me out. I gave myself a few days to be upset. I believe that when bad things happen in life, it's okay to be upset. You just can't stay upset. I took a day or two off, ate a Costco-sized bag of chocolate-covered pretzels —it may have been two or three bags, it's all pretty hazy looking back. I had a sweet mom who came to spend time with me on her only day off. And a sister who dropped her plans to entertain me and try to cheer me up.
I love this picture that was taken that day because I look awful. A little like death warmed over. The sweet angel on my lap knew I was having a bad day and told Dan that we needed to pray for me so I won't have owies anymore. This picture is a great reminder to me that I don't like feeling sad. And I especially don't like looking sad. Bad things happen to people every day. Things that interrupt your life plan happen every day. I'm a little slow at learning the life lesson that things almost never go as you plan, but they work out how they are supposed to. And God sends us angels to help us through life's surprises. Angels in the form of sweet little children, family members, and neighbors. God is real. When I take a moment to remember that and pull myself out of a slump, I see his influence in every part of my life. He is giving me some nudges that urge me to slow down and enjoy life, to focus on the blessings I have of people I love who love me.
For almost two years now, I have been operating under the hopes/assumption that I am going to get better. That somehow all the doctor visits, physical therapy, personal training sessions, spinal injections, meds, etc. are going to make my health problems go away. They're not. I'm just finally realizing that. And I'm finally okay with that. I wondered why God wasn't going to bless me by removing these trials. And for a long while I was frustrated. And I finally realized that he is blessing me in other ways. He has given me Dan. That is the blessing he has given me in response to my trials. I don't really believe in soul mates—except for me and Dan. We're not perfect and our relationship isn't perfect. In fact, it's just like most others' relationships. But it is so great. He is the perfect response to this trial, a husband greater than I could have imagined, better than I deserve. And I love him so much.
I am getting stronger. I am feeling better. And I'm having fewer days with meds. And that's more than I could hope for.
So that's the haps, the latest, and your dose of mooshy for the week. How about a challenge this week for all of us, including your truly. Let's find a way to let someone know how much we love and appreciate them as blessings in our lives. I like sending people cheesy notes that weird them out. I think people are getting used to me being that creepy lady. Someone has to play that role.
Until next time.
