Brain Dump

I have had a lot of time to blog lately. But the funny thing is, now that I have the time, I have less desire and less brain capacity for blogging. Weird, I know. I think it's because before, when I was working, I was so busy doing expository writing all day that I just couldn't wait to do some sort of nonsense, stress-free writing. Now my days are full of nonsense.

Speaking of nonsense, have you seen this?



This is funny for two reasons:
1) Elmo sings about not wearing clothes—works on so many levels.
2) Elmo is naked.

While we're making lists, here's another one. There are two kinds of people who (or whom, I'm too tired to look it up) I have no more patience for: Obsessed Twilight fans and "woe is me" people.

Grown women who obsess over Twilight need a hobby . . . or a boyfriend . . . or need to spice things up with their husbands.

Woe is you! Woe is all of us. As Norm says, "Life's a beast and then you die." (Edited for web appropriateness.) You are not the only person who has problems. News flash: everyone has problems—at this very moment. The more time you spend feeling sorry for yourself and moping, the worse the problems seem. But if you can see outside of yourself and try to spend time doing things to help other people, your problems will seem to be much more manageable, even if they don't go away. Plus, you're kind of a downer.

And, finally, to end in a quote from a timeless classic and still follow my theme of lists:

"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't."
-Bob
What About Bob

Lies My Father Told Me

"Hard work is it's own reward."

I guess it would be if I were working for free. But I'm not. I don't work hard and take on more responsibilities just for the sake of feeling good and chipping in. I guess that's always the initial motivation. But as time moves on, you'd like to see fruits of you labors (and by fruit, of course I mean cash). And the corporate, non-government world is where those dreams can come true—where your hard work will finally be rewarded! NOT. I was under the impression that leaving the public sector and working for a private company would allow me to progress in my job so far as I had the ability to. I am standing proof that this is not the case. You see kids, sometimes adults work hard, and nobody cares about how hard you work... it's never enough. Oh, you learned what skill and streamlined what process? Great, we'll reward you by sending more responsibilities your way. And then to top it off, we'll slap you in the face and give you a swift kick in the pants. Welcome to adulthood. And boy am I glad to be here.

Also, when your dad actually notices a change in your hair for the FIRST time in recorded history, you know it's not good. Monday morning I was feeling brave and asked my sister to cut me some real bangs. Monday afternoon I was feeling remorseful and was quickly reminded by the mirror reflecting my short bangs that I have an ugly face. I know that sounds dramatic, but that's how I felt. Now that I've calmed down, I know I don't have a completely ugly face, maybe just not the face for real bangs. Plus. as I've been styling them, I'm having flashbacks to 5th grade... and the Utah claw bang that I used to sport, courtesy of my two-inch Conair curling iron. Those were dark, ugly times in my life. But when I stopped by my parents for lunch today, Norm said, "About your bangs, I really like them. They make you look a lot younger." Which is just what a 26 year-old who typically can be found wearing hoodies and pony tails needs.
So, let me ask you this bang inovators (Sig, Lindsay, Cambria, etc): How on earth do you style them to look not circa 1992? Round brush gets them too round, and flat iron too flat. What is a girl to do?!

Here we see Megan attempting the very popular full-bang, but not completely succeeding.

 We also note that it looks as if she's picking her nose... it was an itch. 

And, yes, that is absolutely chipped, black nail polish.

I love your brain

Sunday night my family was holding the weekly "Megan Dating Intervention" meeting (which I try to avoid at all costs). Norm had advised me to do something silly like "just plant one" on a boy. I told him that I didn't need to kiss a boy to get him to fall in love with me, because someday someone is going to fall in love with me because of my brain.

Norm laughed really hard.

The rest of my family laughed.

I'm laughing a little bit as I write this post. 

Oh, Norm....